Ben Aqua

This has been on my mind a lot lately. Idk if I’m coming out again (??) but I’m really sick of being constantly projected into the gender binary, esp the “male” or “man” category. I’ve never been able to relate to seemingly scripted hyper “masculine” roles. I’m beginning to own a more non-binary identity and finally face the many years of anger and frustration at this system humans have simultaneously enlightened & imprisoned themselves within.

Our culture is obsessed with gendering nearly everything, human or nonhuman. Even as a little kid, I struggled with this, and never felt particularly “male” or “female.” Throughout my life, I’ve repeated to my brain “I JUST WANT TO BE ME” without having to define my gender as a mechanism to ease the sanity & understanding of the outside world.

Yes, I have a penis, and I may look like a “man” or do “manly” things. But I don’t do anything to be “masculine” or “feminine” — I simply AM and DO, and work hard to release & soak up as much love, positivity, and creativity into the atmosphere as possible.

Genitals are merely lovely flaps of skin — not a set of rules to constantly administer onto ourselves and others.

Gender is a construct, a powerful illusion. And I don’t believe the gender binary or cisgender identities are inherently evil. So many brilliant cis & heteronormative beings constantly inspire love and joy, and I’m grateful for this.

But we can’t deny the dark side of any constructed duality, which festers in corrupt hands. It manipulates the “less fortunate” into creating an unnecessary, divisive, and harmful system of oppression, targeting those who exist outside of “comfortable” frequencies — people of color, women, LGBTQ+, Muslims, etc — who are simply trying to LIVE.

I’m learning to fully love & embrace my body, face, genitals, skin tone, personality, and sexual attraction for what they are, NOT what they should be. I’m unpacking years of shame & guilt of leading a “subversive” lifestyle. I’m making it my armor.

It’s simultaneously liberating and frightening, but I’d appreciate if everyone plz use the pronouns they/them/their for me. Or even better, just Ben Aqua/Ben. Or Beans. I like that too. 👽🏳️‍🌈💖

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